Thursday, June 30, 2005

You, uh... You Got a Little Something On Your Face There...

A woman was paid $10,000 by someone to tattoo their company's name on her face. On her face! I won’t say the name of the business in much the same way the networks won’t show a jackass who takes his clothes off and runs on the field during a sports event – the jackass wants the publicity, and I refuse to give it to them.

This woman did this for her “children.” It’s always about the fucking children isn’t it? She’s concerned about tuition costs. Somehow I get the feeling that if this kid comes from her filthy genetic pool, he’s not going to have to worry too much about getting into college. He’ll be more concerned with figuring out which end of the fork to use while dining.

I think it’s time we start addressing a major issue of mine which as of today has gone unmentioned on these pages. We need a license to drive a car or to get married, when are we going to wake up and realize that we need child-bearing licenses? Why license people who get behind the wheel? Because they could hurt someone if they don’t know what they’re doing. These people, these idiot fucking people, get to raise as many kids as they like with little to no oversight, and are doing significant damage to their children for the rest of their lives. And then those kids go on to have their own kids and the cycle begins anew. We can even make the intelligence test mind-bogglingly easy, it can have just one question – “Would you tattoo your face for money?” If yes, please leave your reproductive organs at the door. Actually, maybe we could just tattoo the word “moron” on their foreheads instead.

On a tangential note, I wonder if this business will start putting ads on the bulletin boards of financial aid offices…

1 comment:

emeryroolz said...

Our first picture is of Mike Tyson? Oy.

And the title of this post makes me think of:
"Here's a quarter. Go downtown and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face."