Say Hello To My Little Friend

It’s time to debut the newest DoG segment – How Would You Play It?

Let’s say that you’re, oh I don’t know... let’s say the President of the United States. Now, in our little thought experiment, here are the givens:

You’ve nominated one of your Vice President’s best friends (BFF!) to serve as the ambassador to an agency that in light of all the wars you want to start, has come to be very, very important.

This nominee is on record more than once saying how unimportant and crappy that agency is.

There is evidence that this nominee has falsified reports about national security.

The nominee is also on record as being completely batshit crazy - threatening employees, flying off the handle for no reason, beating coworkers with a paddle he nicknamed "The Weasel," and feasting on the entrails of animals he finds on the side of the road.

The post is one that requires the highest order of diplomacy, honesty and integrity.

OK. So that’s the situation. Now let’s say that in order to get him approved by the Senate, the senators ask you for some information related to his work history so they can research his record.

How would you play it?

Would you:

a) Turn the documents over to the Senate and let the senators vote with his full record being out in the open.
b) Beg the senators to “trust your honest face” and ask them to vote without releasing his records.
c) Kidnap Harry Reid, ship him to Guantanamo and "hold" him there until he "agrees" to convince the Democratic caucus to vote "Yea" on your nominee.
d) Drop your pants, wipe your ass with the Constitution, use a loophole that permits you to appoint nominees without Senate oversight, and tell Senator Fuckface to suck it.

Wrong! The correct answer is d. Good news for Bush is bad news for the appeasers and pantywaists at the United Nations.