Nappy Headed Ho

In case you were of the delusional belief that the mainstream right wing institutions were going to cover the presidential campaign with dignity and without stoking the racism of their supporters, guess again:

Yessuh, Missuh Presdint, suh…

Julie Myers, assistant secretary overseeing Homeland Security's Immigration and Customs Enforcement division -- herself a recess appointed, grossly unqualified nepotism case -- was part of a three-person panel selected to judge Halloween costumes at the Homeland Security Department office Halloween party. As an aside - a three-judge panel for a Halloween party? Can DHS do anything without bureaucratic red tape??

Anyway, the winning costume, you’ll be horrified if unsurprised to discover, was a man dressed up in prison stripes, dreadlocks, and you guessed it - blackface. I mean, DHS says it was just “dark makeup” but that sounds like some bureaucrat hair-splitting to me.

Third place was dressed up as Chief Wahoo, the lovable scamp from the Cleveland Indians uniforms. First runner-up, who will take over for the now disgraced Prisoner Sambo was dressed as Slowpoke Rodriguez, the laziest, slowest, most unemployedest mouse in all of Mexico. Sounds like a great party!

Gay Voodoo Limbo Tango and Wango Dance

What happens when the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff says homosexuality is immoral and should not be accepted? It encourages our Army recruiters to write to people like this:

YOU GO BACK TO AFRICA AND DO YOUR GAY VOODOO LIMBO TANGO AND WANGO DANCE AND JUMP AROUND AND PRANCE AND RUN ALL OVER THE PLACE HALF NAKED THERE AND PRACTICE YOUR GAY MORALS OVER THERE THAT'S WHERE YOU BELONG.

*breath*

YOU NEED TO CHECK YOUR SPELLING SO ARE THE ONE WHO SO ILLITERATE. OBVIOUSLY YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND IF YOU ARE GAY YOU ARE OUT OF THE MILITARY YOU ARE DISQUALIFIED. SO WHATS THE BIG ISSUE HERE. YOU ARE UPSET YOU DO NOT QUALIFY.

*breath*

It goes on like that. Check it out, it's good for a laugh. You see, this recruiter was trolling resume websites and ran across a young man who was not interested in the military precisely because he was gay. Well... he probably wasn't all that interested otherwise. In any case, she found him, found out he was gay, and all hell broke loose. Those are the recruiters caps by the way. And her (lack of) punctuation as well.

ANYWAYS I WONT HEAR FROM YOU AGAIN SINCE YOU ARE BLOCKED. SO BYE
ADOIS
GOODBYE

Funny thing about the devil. Sometimes he gives you immoral choices like choosing to love another human being, and sometimes he gives you the option of sending racist, homophobic emails on the government's dime. Cagey fella, that one.

Well, if Anyone Deserves to be Called a "Minority Whip..."

...I guess it's Trent Lott. Apparently he's not racist anymore, so he's got that going for him.

Sen. Olympia Snowe (R-ME):
We understand what happened. There’s no point going over. It’s in the past now, you know, and he has expressed, you know, his deep regret, as he should.

Sen. John McCain (R-AZ):
I think most people think he paid a pretty heavy price for the mistake that he made. We all believe in redemption, thank God.

Sen. Chuck Hagel (R-NE):
Everyone has an opportunity to rehabilitate themselves if they want to do it, and I admire Trent Lott for coming back and offering himself. The conference spoke, and we go forward.

Well, I'm glad that's settled. Maybe they should get whoever got Trent to suddenly stop being a racist to go to work on Ted Haggard. He'll start getting his massages from naked ladies instead of male prostitutes in no time.

Find Me Some Coloreds to Stand With

Racially challenged senator and Bush clone George Allen held a rally recently. His website posted some photos. You may notice in the URL that the rally had a name – The Ethnic Rally.

How cute. In one of the pictures, you can almost make out a thought balloon that says, “See? I’m completely comfortable being around negroes and celestials!” Think about it - he was at The Ethnic Rally all day and didn't lynch a single person. I smell the Oval Office!

(P.S. - Thanks, Josh!)

They All Look Alike

Racists that is. It doesn’t matter if you’re a senator from typically cosmopolitan and forward-thinking Virginia or if you go to Klan rallies in Alabama, a racist is a racist. George Allen used to hang a confederate flag in his Senate office. That’s enough for me. But if it’s not enough for you, there’s his racial slur from the other day.

"This fellow here over here with the yellow shirt -- Macaca, or whatever his name is -- he's with my opponent," Allen said. After suggesting that Webb was spending more time with "Hollywood movie moguls" than with real Virginians, Allen turned back to the subject of Sidarth. "Let's give a welcome to Macaca, here. Welcome to America and the real world of Virginia."

Not convinced that was a slur? Try this on for size:

Felix raised Allen's mother, Etty, in Tunisia, a French protectorate in North Africa. As a child, Allen's grandparents lived near the family home, and Etty spoke five languages around the house.
…

In North Africa, the word "macaca," often spelled "macaco" or "macaque," is far more than a string of random syllables. According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the word dates back to the mid-1600s, as a Flemish approximation of the Bantu word for monkey in the Congo and southern Gabon. The word migrated north, taking on all the racist connotations that followed African colonization. By the early 1800s, Jacko Maccacco, a famous fighting monkey, could be found on display in Westminster Pit, a notorious London arena for dog fights. The word had entered the common vernacular, and it eventually became a racist shorthand for blacks.

We know he didn’t blurt it out as a means of calling Sidarth a silly name because he said it twice, and he damned well knew what the word meant. The guy is a racist pure and simple. That plays in Virginia, so he’ll get reelected. Let’s make sure he doesn’t get to the White House.

By the way, don’t you love the non-apology apology he offered?

”I do apologize if he's offended”

It reminds me of another apology quite common in Virginia between redneck and wife: “I’m sorry you made me hit you.”

What do you mean? I walked into a door.

You're Not A Racist; You Just Want to Protect the Borders

The Republicans are having quite the little catfight over this immigration issue. On one side, you have the Rovian types who want to be able to exploit the fastest growing population group in the country while still allowing their fatcat campaign donors to use that cheap illegal labor free of any human rights concerns. On the other, you have the hard nosed xenophobes pandering to their racist constituency. Bush will split the difference tonight when he tries to do both – a guest worker program combined with an a Korean peninsula style demilitarized zone along our border with Mexico. As the saying goes – a good compromise means no one is happy.

But in order for the Bush/Rove plan to succeed they have to maintain the plausible deniability that the Republican party is a party of racism. But instead you find this guy mucking up the works! (thanks to Crooks and Liars)

And he will be lying, again, just as he lied when he said: "Massive deportation of the people here is unrealistic – it's just not going to work."

Not only will it work, but one can easily estimate how long it would take. If it took the Germans less than four years to rid themselves of 6 million Jews, many of whom spoke German and were fully integrated into German society, it couldn't possibly take more than eight years to deport 12 million illegal aliens, many of whom don't speak English and are not integrated into American society.

Yowza! I, myself, have been guilty of using a couple too many Nazi references in the past. Guilty as charged. But as a general rule of thumb – try to portray the Nazis in a negative light if you do it. Being all, "if only Bush were as efficient as Hitler" tends to turn people off a bit.