Thursday, December 13, 2007

This Is Your Team On Drugs


The best argument yet for kids to stay away from performance "enhancing" drugs: the just-released list of names from the Mitchell Report.

Yeah, Roger Clemens and Andy Pettitte are on there (which could explain Clemens' penchant for fits of rage). But for every Clemens there are 10 Nook Logans and Cody McKays.

And on a side note, someone should have told Mo Vaughn that you're supposed to lift weights after you take steroids, not eat a bakery.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Wal-Mardello

A Feministing reader came across the item pictured below at her local Wal-Mart.


In case the scale is out of whack, it is a pair of panties from the junior department that says, “Who needs credit cards…” I suppose we can presume the … to be short for, “when you have a pussy.”

So at first I thought to myself, this is Wal-Mart, the savior of moral values; the place where you can’t buy Eminem and Maxim and your choice of birth control; the place where Jesus is safe to roam free and His birthday is a holiday to be declared merry - and they are encouraging pre-teens to fuck for money?

But then I thought again… This isn’t hypocritical or paradoxical at all. In fact, it makes perfect logical sense. In the Wal-Mart ethos, women are empty vessels to be used for reproduction, cooking, and house cleaning. Barefoot and pregnant, if you will. So, this tween panty isn’t about whoring it up for diamonds and rides in Ferraris. It’s preparing these young girls to understand early that the only way they are going to survive in this world is to get married, get knocked up, and get to scrubbing those tiles.

Well played, Wal-Mart. Well played…