Protect Me From Maximillian

Bush's cyborg bodyguard came out from the comfort of his underground lair bunker long enough to see his shadow and pump his alleged friend full of lead.

Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot and wounded a companion during a weekend quail hunting trip in Texas, spraying the fellow hunter in the face and chest with shotgun pellets.
...

Katharine Armstrong, the ranch's owner, said Sunday that Cheney was using a 28-guage shotgun and that Whittington was about 30 yards away when he was hit in the cheek, neck and chest.

Each of the hunters were wearing bright orange vests at the time...

Sources have told DoG that just before the "accident," the vice-president was overheard shouting, "Are you wearing a wire?!"