Tuesday, February 07, 2006

I Will Turn This Car Around Right Now!

The Islamic world has gone even more apeshit than usual because of some Danish cartoons. That's right, you can actually see them if you follow that link. Bring your fatwa. I dare you. I double dare you.

Yeah, I thought not.

I have no idea what the right-wing is saying or what the left-wing is saying. I don't care. All I know is that if you're freaking out because of a cartoon, then you have too much time on your hands and a decisive lack of any sense of what is important in life. I get it – it's against your religion to draw pictures of Mohammad, or Allah, or hell if I recall correctly, pretty much anyone. Well, you know what? It's not according to Christian doctrine. Many Christians wear sculptures of Christ's dying body around their necks everywhere they fucking go. That's life... or in His case, death. Whatever, you get my point. We don't have that rule and as such, we are not bound by it just because you don't like it. Maybe we'll go to your hell? Maybe we don't get your virgins or whatever. That is our punishment.

What isn't, or shouldn't be, our punishment is you firebombing embassies and killing and maiming and all that other shit. So knock it the fuck off! (Yes, I agree, that shouldn't be the Iraqi peoples' punishment either, but let's address that another time.)

I see that you're taking a different tack and punishing the infidels by publishing the most offensive "That Holocaust Was So Funny Because of All the Dead Jews" cartoons you can dream up. You know what I say? Good. Do it. It'll make you feel better, and no one gets hurt, because you know what? They're words. They're pictures. Words and pictures by ignorant people can be ignored. They can be dismissed. They can be discussed and guess what? Nobody dies.

Of course, now let's shift the audience. They're gonna publish these cartoons, people. It's now our responsibility as the so-called enlightened ones to chill the fuck out too! They're going to be obnoxious, disgusting, offensive in every possible manner. Ignore it. Let 'em do what they're gonna do. Set an example and chill the fuck out.

Got it? Good. 'Cuz I got bigger problems. I have to finish up this 666 tattoo on my neck before I can get started on my lunch of ham doused in sour cream that I need to build up my strength for tonight's all-male orgy on top of a pile of Korans Hillary Clinton pro-abortion fund-raiser tonight. Busy day...

5 comments:

Matthew Smith said...

My world has ended. DoG posted a link to a conservative propaganda website. The flood waters are rising and the human-animal hybrids have taken over.

Goodbye cruel world.

emeryroolz said...

So, would I get in trouble if i asked the hypothetical question, "Could Allah microwave a burrito so hot, that he himself could not eat it?"

Michael Grant said...

Freedom of speech is never conservative, Mao. But watch out for those h-a hybrids. They're sneaky little mothers...

Oh, and Allah uses a toaster oven, not a microwave. Microwaves are for infidels.

Courts said...

What a GREAT post, MG!!! Kudos on the call to NOT react. Hey, you know, tragedy + time = comedy. We're all laughing about the Holocaust too!!!

Bigg said...

tonight's all-male orgy on top of a pile of Korans Hillary Clinton pro-abortion fund-raiser....

I never get invited anywhere fun.