Nobody Expects the Spanish Inquisition

Dear DoG,
How can I tell if my special prosecutor is a partisan hack on a witch hunt or if he is an honest man doing the job he was assigned to do?

Sincerely yours,
Confused in Columbus

ps – you are the funniest blog in the world!

Dear Confused,

There’s a simple test you can perform on your special prosecutor to figure out whether he’s doing the job of the American people or if he is beholden to outside interests, (e.g. – corporations, a political party for which he may have worked his whole life, his BFF in Texas, etc.). Observe the grand jury process. Is it secret (as the law specifies)? Is it free of leaks to biased and poorly written websites? Is there wild speculation about the final outcome because no one honestly has any idea whatsoever?

If the answer to each of these questions is yes, congratulations! You have an honest prosecutor doing an honest job.

If, however, there are massive leaks of titillating sexual details having no relevance to the case actually being investigated, uh oh! There’s your politically motivated witch hunt.

Happy prosecuting!