How Quaint

Red Cross Finds Detainee Abuse in Guantánamo

*Gasp* No way!

...investigators had found a system devised to break the will of the prisoners at Guantánamo, who now number about 550, and make them wholly dependent on their interrogators through "humiliating acts, solitary confinement, temperature extremes, use of forced positions." Investigators said that the methods used were increasingly "more refined and repressive" than learned about on previous visits.

Tee-hee...

...an intentional system of cruel, unusual and degrading treatment and a form of torture," the report said. It said that in addition to the exposure to loud and persistent noise and music and to prolonged cold, detainees were subjected to "some beatings."

So adorable...

"I'm satisfied that the detainees here have not been abused, they've not been mistreated, they've not been tortured in any way," [General Hood, commander of the detention and interrogation facility at Guantánamo] said.

What a relief! I'm glad we cleared this whole mess up.

The Pentagon also said the medical care given detainees was first-rate. Although the Red Cross criticized the lack of confidentiality, it agreed in the report that the medical care was of high quality.

Translation: After we remove the electrodes from a prisoner's testicles, we have a first rate ointment for him to soothe his wounds.

I'm so full of pride in my country, I could weep.