Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Get Your Kicks on Route 69

Sometimes, the news is so absurd, you can't believe that it's not a Saturday Night Live sketch. Apparently, Jesus got together with Congressman John Hostettler, Republican from Indiana's 8th, to explain to him what 69 means in the plebeian vernacular. (courtesy of fan favorite The Minority Whip)

"Every time I have been out in the public with an 'I-69' button on my lapel, teenagers point and snicker at it. I have had many ask me if they can have my button. I believe it is time to change the name of the highway. It is the moral thing to do."

That bears repeating - "It is the moral thing to do." Which commandment is it again? Oh yeah - "Thou shalt not name a thoroughfare something that makes teenagers giggle."

That aside, it still begs a couple of questions:

  • Why on earth does he have a lapel pin of any interstate highway? What - he's got a favorite one?
  • If he's so moral and chaste, how did he find out what 69 means to us sinners? Married or not, sodomy is sodomy, Congressman.

    UPDATE: The Jeffersonian informs me that there is a proposal pending to extend I-69 or something, (TJ is totally into Indiana politics). I say "or something" because I really couldn't care less about the details. Apparently, it's been Rep. Hostettler's pet (pork barrel) project for some time, (along with policing everybody's dirty, dirty thoughts, that is). It stands to reason, I guess, that he might have some sort of ad for the proposal on his person, and thus - both a lot of snickers and an explanation for the snickers from a colleague who is perhaps more worldly than Saint Hostettler is. But I still stand by initial thought - who wears a button with an interstate highway on it? I mean, get a bumper sticker or something. Where does his trite American flag pin go?

    Indiana blows anyway. I've been there. Maybe I'm for the extension of the highway if it gets me out of there quicker.

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