When Does Life Begin?

If you define "life" as something containing living cells that reproduce instinctively, then life begins at conception as well as when roots first sprout from an acorn. If, however, life begins when brain function starts, then it's a few more months along for human babies, and never at all for trees and people from Indiana.

Indiana is a step closer to requiring doctors to tell women about to undergo abortions that life begins at conception.

Removed from the bill was a provision to shackle the woman to stocks in the town square where her mother will be forced to point at her and scream "Whore!" for a half hour.

The newest version also requires doctors to tell women the fetus may feel pain during the abortion, although Planned Parenthood of Indiana says there is no proof that pain will occur before the 20th week of pregnancy, which is when more than 90 percent of Indiana abortions occur.

Also removed from the bill was a provision requiring the doctor to tell the patient all of the other things in the world that "may" happen – the Detroit Lions winning the Super Bowl; a peaceful democratic middle east; the arrival of a Republican politician who isn't corrupt; the woman's baby is actually the spawn of the Holy Spirit and is the second coming of Christ; New Orleans being completely rebuilt and better than ever. Those among about a zillion other things. I guess they thought it was too time consuming to have doctors speculate wildly about things they don't know anything about.

Despite the uncertainties surrounding fetal pain, Sen. Mike Delph, R-Carmel, urged the committee to err on the side of caution and approve the bill.

"To me, this issue is the human-rights issue of our day," Delph said.

Wow. That dude ought to take a gander at one of them Abu Ghraib photos.