Friday, March 17, 2006

Mmmm... That's Some Tasty Conservativism

Are you buried in debt? Have you stopped answering the phone to avoid those annoying collection agencies? Do you steal food from homeless orphans just to feed your family? Worry no longer! Here at Biznotech, we can offer you low, low rates when you refinance your home! Or if you qualify for our new special program, we will help you raise your credit limit to stratospheric heights allowing you to ignore your debt, passing it on to your heirs! Act now! Operators standing by.

America’s national debt limit was increased yesterday to $9 trillion. That’s $9,000,000,000,000 — enough to buy Buckingham Palace 9,000 times.

The vote to increase the debt limit, requested by the White House, is the fourth since Mr Bush took office. In 2001 the national debt was $5.7 trillion. Today it has ballooned to $8.2 trillion, figures rarely talked about in Washington.

  • Is roughly four times Britain’s GDP
  • Equates to $1,500 for every man, woman and child in the world
  • Would buy all the tea in China. In fact it would buy all the tea in the world for the next 2,000 years
  • Is enough to solve the Palestinian crisis by rehousing every Israeli and Palestinian family in a £1.5m detached house in Henley-on-Thames
  • Would build 28 Eiffel Towers – constructed out of gold
I like that. Twenty-eight gold Eiffel Towers. It sounds like something Donald Trump would brag about on that crapper of a show of his.

Anyhow, it's interesting that the United States government would be so massively in debt and just be like, yeah, whatever, knowing that China could sell all our T-bills tomorrow, sending our economy into a tailspin that would make the Great Depression look like the Clinton Boom. Yet they demand so-called "responsibility" from people who decide to get sick despite not having health insurance and divorced women with kids by passing their morally corrupt bankruptcy bill last year.

And by interesting I mean soul-crushing.

No comments: