Friday, March 31, 2006

Home Sweet Midwestern Home

I like to read Detroit's local newspapers, the News and Free Press to check up on my beloved Red Wings (and Tigers, Pistons, and yes, even the Lions) from time to time. A story on the News' front page caught my eye. It should be noted for those of you who aren't from the metro Detroit area that the News endorsed Bush in 2000 and 2004. Just so you know.

The news anchor of the local ABC affiliate, Frank Turner, was fired a few years back for a massive crack/phone sex problem. He has since turned his life around, all thanks to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, for the kingdom, the power, and the glory are Yours, now and forever. Amen. Jesus came down from His throne in the clouds and eliminated all the crack around Frank Turner's house in a 20 mile radius. Praise Jesus! And as everybody knows, phone sex is just no good if you haven't smoked at least 3 rocks.

After he cleaned up, he got his job back. Good for him! (And Him too!) But now Frank has a new addiction – spreading the Word of Christ. A bit of a problem if you're on the air for 2 ½ hours a week, don't you think? For whatever reason, the powers that be at WXYZ-TV think he should be, you know, reading the news instead of bringing salvation to the good people of Detroit. The solution? Lawsuit! The grounds for his suit, you ask?

Federal law not only prohibits employers from discriminating against employees based on their religion, but also requires them to provide "reasonable accommodation" for employees' religious beliefs and practices.
Yep, that's right. Since his whackjob evangelical religion requires that you spread the message of Christ, he believes that his television station should be required by federal law to allow him to preach on-air. In the interest of being fair (which I pride myself on), he doesn't want to preach during the news, he wants his own show on AM radio. But WXYZ doesn't want him to be an on-air preacher anywhere because it would sully their news cred, having a loony preacherman as their head anchor. You know? It's an image thing. Oh yeah, and it's in his contract that he's not allowed to do anything else. WXYZ must have forgotten that our covenant with Christ supersedes all human agreements.

But the best part. The News has an online survey:
Anchor Frank Turner has filed a complaint against Channel 7 for not letting him host an evangelical radio program in his spare time. The station says that they have exclusive contracts with their on-air talent that don't allow them to work for other broadcast stations, but federal law requires them to provide "reasonable accommodation" for an employee's religious beliefs. Should Turner's obligation as an evangelical Christian to share his faith be considered a reasonable accommodation?
And you know what the good people of southern Michigan think? The very same people who voted for Gore, Kerry, have two Democratic senators and a female Canadian Democratic governor? It's close, but Reverend Frank Turner wins 51%-49%.

Remember the good old days when the wackiest thing in the Detroit news biz was a drunken on-air rant by Bill Bonds? (That's a little shout-out to my fans in The D. Holla!)


emeryroolz said...

What is it with you and all the crack stories lately? Are you trying to tell us you have a problem?

Michael Grant said...

What is it with you and the slavery stories lately? Are you trying to tell me that you're a plantation owner??

Check and mate.