What Stinks in Here?

The New York Times does one of its News Analysis pieces on superlobbyist/King of Corruption Jack Abramoff this morning. Mostly, it sums up why the Republicans in Congress are returning “campaign contributions” and drinking Maalox by the gallon. Here are my favorite parts:

"There's a lot of talk coming out of various quarters that the Justice Department is going to pursue a different definition of bribery, meaning that if somebody were to give a gift or a campaign contribution in the same time period as a member took an official action, that in and of itself would constitute bribery," said a former Republican leadership aide who insisted on anonymity. "That scares the bejesus out of people."

Allow me to translate that: The Justice Department is going to pursue a different definition of bribery - the actual definition of bribery. That scares the bejesus out of people.

Mr. Hastert has raised the possibility of new ethics training for lawmakers.

Translation: Mr. Hastert has raised the possibility of some ethics training for lawmakers.

Education begins at home, Mr. Speaker. He recently donated his own bribes campaign contributions to charity.