Thursday, January 19, 2006

Bush Needs a New 12-Step Program

This guy is addicted to appointing cronies. Seriously, I'm worried about him. Our president is about to name a new CFO for the Department of Homeland Security. He's chosen David Norquist, brother of conservative nutjob extraordinaire Grover Norquist.

Grover gets a chubby for cutting taxes. His big thing is making politicians sign pledges never to raise taxes, come war, hell, or high water. He's infamously known for his quote: "I don't want to abolish government. I simply want to reduce it to the size where I can drag it into the bathroom and drown it in the bathtub." Grover is such an extremist that conservative pundit Tucker Carlson once referred to Grover as a "mean-spirited, humorless, dishonest little creep ... the leering, drunken uncle everyone else wishes would stay home." Oh yeah, and he's intimately involved in the whole K Street Project that we're reading so much about these days.

So, hey, I have an idea! Let's put his baby brother in charge of the finances of one of the hugest sprawling behemoths of the federal government... And drown it in a bathtub! What do we need security for anyway? We're not using it.

The more I think about it, this crony addiction Bush is struggling with isn't really that far off the Bush narrative, is it? Show me a king, emperor, monarch, czar, shah, pharaoh, f├╝hrer, what-have-you, and I'll show you a guy who installs his friends and relatives into important government positions and claims to talk to god. It all makes sense. How long until Bush starts commissioning giant statues of himself in squares named after himself? How long until he names his successor?

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