Sometimes You Feel Like a Nut...

Pat Robertson, our favorite wacky attention-whore of an evangelist, has once again gotten the Word of God:

The Rev. Pat Robertson said Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon is being punished by God for dividing the Land of Israel. Robertson, speaking on the “700 Club” on Thursday, suggested Sharon, who is currently in an induced coma, and former Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin, assassinated by an Israeli extremist in 1995, were being treated with enmity by God for dividing Israel. “He was dividing God’s land,” Robertson said. “And I would say, Woe unto any prime minister of Israel who takes a similar course to appease the E.U., the United Nations or the United States of America. God says, This land belongs to me. You better leave it alone.”

What, so now God is obsessed with His real estate holdings? Why do you suppose God waited until now to go after the man in charge of Israel instead of, say every single person who has lived there between the years 1 and 1948 A.D.?

Ah, but it's not our place to question God's will. He puts massively fat Middle Eastern leaders in the hospital; He looks the other way while a dozen miners suffocate two miles below ground; He wipes entire cities off the map just for snorin'.

Why do y'all worship this Dude again? I wouldn't be friends with a guy if he spilled my beer on purpose, let alone, you know... all the murdering and the smiting.