Christianity Rots Your Brain

Søren Kierkegaard once said, "Christianity is the invention of Satan, calculated to make human beings unhappy." Here is some evidence to back up his claim:

The New York Times and the Seattle Post-Intelligencer offer up profiles of the evangelical minister who claims to be responsible for forcing Microsoft to go soft on a Washington state gay rights bill.

Although Microsoft says that it decided to switch from supporting the bill to being neutral on it before a company official first met with the Rev. Ken Hutcherson, the circumstantial evidence and Hutcherson himself all suggest otherwise. Asked if he thought that he alone could have changed the position of the world's largest software company, Hutcherson told the Times: "I don't think. I know. If I got God on my side, what's a Microsoft? What's a Microsoft? It's nothing."

Microsoft has been accused of a certain hubris over the years, but it's got nothing on Hutcherson. The former NFL linebacker tells the Times: "I want to be to Christianity what Gretzky was to hockey, what Beckham is to soccer, what Jordan was to basketball, what Martin Luther King was to African-American rights, what the Pope was to Poland. I want to be that to Christianity."

You see, Reverend Whatever, Christianity already HAS a Wayne Gretzky. You might have heard of him. Does the name Jesus Christ ring any bells? And funny thing about him, I did a Lexis-Nexus, and he is not once quoted as saying anything about gay marriage. So zip it!

Activists for gay rights tried to attend Hutcherson's services in Redmond, Wash., Sunday, but some were forced to remove rainbow-colored wristbands and sit in an area separate from the church's usual worshippers. "When you're in the battle, it's not time for 'nice,'" Hutcherson says. "It's time to win."

"It's not time for 'nice.' It's time to win." - Matthew 4:17, was it? Yeah, that one definitely sounds like something Christ would say. Big fan of segregation too, that Jesus. He was truly wise.