Wasn't This What Santorum Was Worried About?

Rick Santorum might be like way too late. Courtesy of Wonkette, the story of a right-wing mule fucker. It's an exchange between Alan Colmes, on his radio show, and Neal Horsley, a right-wing anti-abortion zealot. And yeah, it's real.

AC: "You had sex with animals?"

NH: "Absolutely. I was a fool. When you grow up on a farm in Georgia, your first girlfriend is a mule."

AC: "I'm not so sure that that is so."

NH: "You didn't grow up on a farm in Georgia, did you?"

AC: "Are you suggesting that everybody who grows up on a farm in Georgia has a mule as a girlfriend?"

NH: It has historically been the case. You people are so far removed from the reality... Welcome to domestic life on the farm..."

Colmes said he thought there were a lot of people in the audience who grew up on farms, are living on farms now, raising kids on farms and "and I don't think they are dating Elsie right now. You know what I'm saying?"

Horsley said, "You experiment with anything that moves when you are growing up sexually. You're naive. You know better than that... If it's warm and it's damp and it vibrates you might in fact have sex with it."

This is what we coastal elite types just don't understand about middle America. I mean, I never knew that! And I grew up in Michigan... This might actually help explain Ted Nugent; maybe he kills so many animals because he had a bad breakup when he was a kid!

But I digress... The thing is, I think this is where we might be able to find some common ground. I'm definitely getting a better understanding of their insistence on abstinence-only. That is, unless you get permission from your mulefriend. No means no, buddy.