Pay Attention, Senator Kerry!

Pretty-boy Virginia senator George Allen is facing a bit of a challenge in his bid for reelection in November. And what’s the first instinct of a Republican when even moderately challenged? That’s right – dirty, underhanded attacks.

Allen's camp started things off, with a statement criticizing Webb for his opposition to the amendment: "James H. Webb, Jr. continues to demonstrate he is totally beholden to the liberal Washington Senators who dragged him across the line in the Democratic primary," said Dick Wadhams, Allen's campaign manager. "By announcing his opposition to the Flag Protection Amendment, James H. Webb, Jr. puts himself firmly on the side of John Kerry, Ted Kennedy and Charles Schumer."

And what does a Democrat do when he’s attacked? Well, this time Mr. Webb didn’t curl up in a ball, cry like a baby and plead with them to stop. Like confronting a bully on the playground, the Webb campaign punched Allen in the face. And I like it.

"George Felix Allen Jr. and his bush-league lapdog, Dick Wadhams, have not earned the right to challenge Jim Webb's position on free speech and flag burning. Jim Webb served and fought for our flag and what it stands for, while George Felix Allen Jr. chose to cut and run. When he and his disrespectful campaign puppets attack Jim Webb they are attacking every man and woman who served. Their comments are nothing more than weak-kneed attacks by cowards," Webb spokesman Steve Jarding said.

Snap, bitches! My favorite part – I read elsewhere that George Allen totally hates his middle name, Felix.

Bad news for ya, Georgie. That’s your name until 9th grade. Felix! Felix! Felix! Looks just like a penis! Why don’t you go beat it!

Doesn’t really rhyme I guess, but hey, we’re 12 years old here; this is Washington.