Lousy Liberal Media!

How dare they report on this when so many good things are happening in Iraq? Like... um...

Last month, 1,398 bodies were brought to the central morgue [in Baghdad], according to Ministry of Health statistics, 307 more than in April. The count doesn't include soldiers or civilian victims of explosions, on whom autopsies are not usually conducted.

Since 2003, at least 30,240 bodies have been brought to the morgue, the vast majority of them victims of gunmen who are not caught. Bodies often lie in the streets for hours.

In response, many Iraqis are closing their shops, drawing their blinds and staying home, turning once-vibrant neighborhoods into ghost towns.

Residents in some areas fear death squads and Shiite-dominated security forces. In other parts of town, they worry about religious extremists who have threatened to kill men who wear shorts and women who drive or leave their hair uncovered.

"I feel like I'm living in a prison," said Sahar Mohammed, 24, a Sunni Arab resident of west Baghdad who recently put her car in the garage and exchanged trousers for more conservative skirts. "I'm afraid of the people in my neighborhood. You don't know how people around you think nowadays."

But, um, what about all those schools that have been re-opened lately? Sure, people are too scared to let their children leave the house to actually attend those schools, but, hey, they're open, right? Right?! Oh, by the way, the police found nine severed heads lying around in Baghdad today, too. So not only are we exporting democracy to Iraq, but we're also apparently exporting The Lopper.

Well, look on the bright side. In 30 years, when President Jenna Bush needs a back-up excuse for why she invaded Iraq (after it turns out that the ruler of Iraq really doesn't have a giant, planet-destroying Death Star purchased from Nigeria), at least there will be plenty of bodies buried in mass graves all around the country that she can point to as evidence of our need to invade.**

Seriously, what "good news" could possibly trump the news of over a thousand murders in one city for the second month in a row? I challenge anyone out there to come up with something. Anything! And it can't be some story about us finally rebuilding something that we bombed into rubble 4 years ago, because that ain't progress, Sally, that's getting back to zero.

**This is, of course, ridiculous. It would never happen. We'll still be in Iraq in 30 years.