The One Where Grandma Sweat Herself to Death

Remember last year’s blackout in Queens?

(You’re a selfish prick, you know that? Would it kill you to pay attention to something other than your own bottomless pit of disgusting urges?)

Anyway, a big report came out, and while I know that you think the only people this affects is a bunch of yokels living in one of those boroughs that isn’t Manhattan or Brooklyn, be aware that ConEd’s incompetence is a portend of your own power company’s actions yet to come. And it ain’t like the earth is getting cooler or you can run your central air and plasma screen on switchgrass and wood chips or anything.

Con Edison’s performance in preparing for, and responding to, the outage event was deficient, a gross disservice to its customers. The Company failed to fulfill its responsibilities under Public Service Law.
…

The report details a litany of problems, like how the Con Ed neglected maintenance problems in the Long Island City network and how the poor counting of how many customers were affected prevented the city from sending out emergency resources immediately. Con Ed's numbers were grossly understated, saying just 2,500 customers were hit, while the number was actually 65,000 customers which translates into about 174,000 people; for some reason, 3,000 customers is a threshold for emergency action. [Ed. – 174,000 would make for the 127th largest city in America. Bigger than Ann Arbor, MI and Syracuse, NY, and just behind Little Rock, AR and Reno, NV]

You know, you forget how awful it was to go for a week without power, and then you read this crap and remember everything! The trying to sleep in a windless heat box in 90 degree humid-ass heat. The lack of lights, TiVo, and any place to buy batteries, candles or portable televisions. The waiting in line for dry ice followed by the 30 minute walk to find the beer to put on the dry ice!

Augh! It was a hellish nightmare I hope never to repeat…