Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Really Stepped in it This Time

This Karl Rove thing is outta control. Are you enjoying it as much as I am? A front page story in the Times, a silent Republican party, a quaking Scott McClellan. I know the most likely outcome in today’s corrupt government is nothing. But it’s still fun to watch the White House press corps finally grow a pair and ask some actual questions.

When I was a kid, I had this toy called 2XL. It was essentially an 8 track player shaped to look like a robot. It would ask you questions, and while it was singing or playing robot music, you would answer by pressing a button. This would change the track on the tape and you would find out if you were right or wrong. For you younglings out there, it was the 70s version of Leap Frog, except better because 70s kids are way cooler than 90s kids. Anyway. My point – Scott McClellan is 2XL. Check it:

Terry, I appreciate your question. I think your question is being asked relating to some reports that are in reference to an ongoing criminal investigation. The criminal investigation that you reference is something that continues at this point. And as I've previously stated, while that investigation is ongoing, the White House is not going to comment on it.
Please press the question... button... NOW.
...we're not going to get into commenting on an ongoing criminal investigation from this podium. The prosecutors overseeing the investigation had expressed a preference to us that one way to help the investigation is not to be commenting on it from this podium. And so that's why we are not going to get into commenting on it while it is an ongoing investigation, or questions related to it.
The answer you have chosen is 99% CORR-ect.
No one wants to get to the bottom of it more than the President of the United States. And I think the way to be most helpful is to not get into commenting on it while it is an ongoing investigation.
Your brain must be SO big, it is aMAZing that you can hold up your head.

You get the point. Scott has a few answers hardwired into his circuitry, and depending on the question, he presses the corresponding button in his belly. Thank you, Scott. Thank you for giving me this short moment to reminisce. And in a final nostalgic twist, not only does his behavior remind me of my childhood, his answers treat us like children. Nice.

1 comment:

emeryroolz said...

you're old.