Tuesday, July 12, 2005

No, Mr. Bond. I Expect You to Die.


Josh Micah Marshall at TPM has the scoop on Karl Rove's lawyer Robert D. Luskin. Yeah, and it's pretty funny.

One case that jumps out at you is his representation of Stephen A. Saccoccia.

Saccoccia and his wife Donna were eventually convicted of laundering more than a hundred million dollars for various Colombian drug kingpins. Stephen is currently serving a 660 year sentence. Their racket was laundering drug money through companies which traded in precious metals.

Saccoccia was convicted in 1993. And Luskin took up his case on appeal.

Eventually the Feds got the idea that the money Saccoccia had paid Luskin and his other attorneys for their services was itself part of the $137 million in drug money he was ordered to forfeit. Now, on the face of it this seems a bit unfair since under our system everyone is entitled to good representation and how was Luskin to know it was tainted money.

Well, the prosecutors thought he should have gotten some inkling when Saccoccia started paying Luskin's attorney's fees in gold bars.

Yep, you heard that right. Luskin got paid more than $500,000 of his attorney's fees in gold bars from his client who was trying to appeal his conviction on charges that he laundered drug money through precious metals dealers. Who woulda thought that was drug money?

Luskin insisted that he "never have, and never would, knowingly accept a fee that was the proceeds of illegal activities."

But when federal prosecutors finally got a chance to depose Luskin and Saccoccia's other lawyers, they found that their lawyers' fees had come in forms "such as gold bars, cash that was dropped off at hotels and trunks of cars, and money transfers from Swiss bank accounts."
Now, see I spoke with the HR department at my job; we have a direct deposit option. And it's great. I get a pay stub every week, but the money is already in my bank. It eliminates the hassle of meeting in a back alley with my supervisor, getting frisked by his goons, and heaving my pay out of the trunk of his car. I mean, have you ever tried to carry one of those things? They're not light, let me tell you. And you can forget about cabbies making change on your bullion. "Yeah, uh... can I get $48,790 back?"

Seriously, show me a man who gets paid in gold and I'll show you a man who's shot craps with Sean Connery.

9 comments:

emeryroolz said...

If you have to take your pay to the bank in a wheelbarrow, your boss might be a criminal.

Michael Grant said...

If pirates raid your house to steal your pay, your boss might be a criminal.

emeryroolz said...

If you're paid in Kugerrands, your boss just might be a criminal.

Michael Grant said...

If you can club someone to death with your paycheck, your boss might be a criminal.

emeryroolz said...

If he introduces you to others by saying "Say hello to my little friend!", there's a distinct possibility that your boss just might be a criminal.

Michael Grant said...

If a three-nippled man ever tried to make a gun out of your pay, you should consider the possibility that your boss might be a criminal.

emeryroolz said...

If the main character in the new Grand Theft Auto game looks exactly like him, all signs indicate that your boss might be a criminal.

Michael Grant said...

If they can use your paycheck to decorate Donald Trump's apartment, your boss might be a criminal.

emeryroolz said...

If he wears a gold necklace bigger than his head, and his name does not contain the words "diddy," "puff," "p." or "daddy," your boss might be a criminal.