What's a Liberal Elite Boy to Do?

I live in New York City, since you asked. First it was the Republican Convention last year. Tonight, it's the CMA Awards. Even Wal-Mart wants in on the action. What on earth is going on? Is there a redneck committee out there in the Heartland who decided it's time to conquer the City? Will we slowly be converted to cowboy boot wearing pod people? Will it suddenly become acceptable to wear a ten gallon hat to a business meeting? Look. We gave you the whole country. All we ask in return is the northeast, the west coast and parts of the industrial midwest. Can't we work this out without a hostile takeover?

I fear the future, friends.

Oh god! Friends? Fear the future? It's already starting!!!