Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Culture of Life Primer

It’s so hard to keep track of what the pro-life people consider a life worth saving. One could go mad trying to decipher the inconsistencies. The pro-lifers I know like to have a book to tell them exactly what to do, to prevent unnecessary brain activity. Therefore, I’ve compiled a list that you can print out, laminate, frame, whatever you need so you can study it, memorize it, and move on to the protecting of the lives worth protecting, and the killing of those who are not.

I have designated each item with either - “ALIVE” or as Tony Soprano might say, “DEAD TO YOU.” And don’t forget to save your last bullet for the liberal activist judge who convicts you.

  • Fertilized human egg before it embeds in the uterine lining – ALIVE
  • Fertilized human egg after it embeds in the uterine lining – ALIVE
  • Fertilized human egg sitting in the freezer of a fertility clinic waiting to be thrown in the garbage – ALIVE
  • Human baby the instant it is born – DEAD TO YOU
  • Doctor working in a family planning clinic - DEAD TO YOU
  • People who don’t make enough money to feed their family - DEAD TO YOU
  • People working in factories with sub-par safety standards - DEAD TO YOU
  • People in other countries with malaria - DEAD TO YOU
  • People in other countries with AIDS – DEAD TO YOU
  • People who haven’t yet been taught that condoms prevent the spread of HIV – DEAD TO YOU
  • Non-white people being killed in a genocide – DEAD TO YOU
  • Children sold into slavery - DEAD TO YOU
  • People making sneakers in sweatshops - DEAD TO YOU
  • People who live near a power plant - DEAD TO YOU
  • Citizens of Iraq (before mission was declared “accomplished” on USS Abraham Lincoln) - ALIVE
  • Citizens of Iraq (after mission was declared “accomplished”) - DEAD TO YOU
  • Citizens of any country ruled by a vicious dictator not named Saddam Hussein - DEAD TO YOU
  • Muslims - DEAD TO YOU
  • Friends of Muslims - DEAD TO YOU
  • Someone standing near a Muslim - DEAD TO YOU
  • People without health insurance - DEAD TO YOU
  • Children in inner cities - DEAD TO YOU
  • Judges you disagree with - DEAD TO YOU
  • Homosexuals – DEAD TO YOU
  • People wrongly convicted of a violent crime – DEAD TO YOU
  • Grandma whose pension was pilfered by corporate embezzlers – DEAD TO YOU
  • People in a permanent vegetative state being kept “alive” by machines – ALIVE
  • People in a permanent vegetative state being kept “alive” by machines without the money to afford the machines - DEAD TO YOU

    Now – go forth and spread your Christian love.

  • No comments: