Suck It, Pluto!

I told you so. Why do they even need these conferences? If these astronomers and cosmologists would just come up to Astoria, we could kick it in my crib, solve the problems of the universe and hell, I even know a few chicks. Open invite, fellas.

In the meantime, that bitch Pluto knows who’s boss now. Luckily, it shouldn’t be too hard to rewrite textbooks since half the country has dropped their science books in favor of Bibles – so no harm done.

Hey Pluto! Your atmosphere so thin Nicole Richie asked it for dieting tips!
Hey Pluto! Your gravity so weak, when I jumped outta yo’ momma’s bed, I drifted into space!
Hey Pluto! Your orbit so unstable, they kicked it outta the methadone clinic for scaring the other patients!
Hey Pluto! Your year is so long you spent your last birthday in the Mesozoic Era!
Hey Pluto! You so cold, your ice cubes got frostbite!
Hey Pluto! You so far from the sun, uh… we can’t see you with the naked eye!

Take that!

DoG invites you to submit your own Pluto snaps. And if you can actually make them funny, all the better...