Pluto is NOT a Planet!!

Are you happy, Pluto-huggers? Because of your sentimentality and your unhealthy marriage to your mnemonic device, they’ve gone and redefined the definition of planet to appease you. Thanks to you, there are currently twelve planets identified, including one in the Asteroid Belt.

A fucking asteroid!! Mnemonic that, bitches!

Furthermore, they’ve classified Pluto’s “moon” as a new planet, as well as another Kuiper Belt object (of which Pluto and Charon are members) which is bigger than Pluto. And guess what? There are at least dozens more we’ve already discovered, and undoubtedly hundreds more we haven’t yet.

This is what we have now. Because of these idiots’ childlike attachment to this stupid comet called Pluto, our Solar System has thousands of “planets.” Hold on, what’s that? Is it a bird or a planet! Call fucking Prague!!