Friday, December 10, 2004

Get a Job, You Freeloading Hawk!

I'm sure you've all heard the story by now - Family of hawks gets a nice place on the Upper East Side, until the speciesist residents of the building insist that their lease not be renewed.

Residents were [not] quoted as saying:
"Hey, first one hawk moves in, then another... Pretty soon, there goes the neighborhood."

Putting aside the story of the poor hawks and their struggle to find a new place, [hey tell me about it - I've been living in the same piece of shit shoebox for the last five years], we at DoG find the behind-the-music story even better. Apparently, the president of the co-op board that decided to rid the place of the hawks is none other than the husband of CNN's own Paula Zahn.

The Mole host emeritus, suspected gay, and spawn of Gloria Vanderbilt, Anderson Cooper, hosts the show immediately preceding Paula's, and yesterday, signed off with:

"You can't expect to live rent-free forever," Cooper conceded. "But he's a bird, you know. What's he going to do, pay rent in rats? ... Come to think of it, maybe it wasn't a matter of money.

"After all, we're talking Fifth Ave. co-op here. It could have been all the unseemly publicity that got Pale Male put out. ... Coming up next, 'Paula Zahn Now.'"

Meow, girlfriend!

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