Give Peace Wreath a Chance

Some defensive right-wing homeowners’ association overlords board members in Denver declared a wreath shaped like a peace symbol to be a crime against Christmas and imposed a $25/day fine on its displayers last week.

Well, peace won -- this time -- and the board members resigned. Inside sources tell us the allegedly Christian board members were handed a bible and were shocked to discover that when Christmas was first invented, it wasn’t to feed the engine of soul-sucking mass consumerism, but in fact to celebrate the birth of a noted hippy peace activist.

They may have capitulated in this instance but on their way home from their final board meeting, they drew the line at a ghastly tune on the radio in which herald angels declare peace on earth and a merciful God reconciles with sinners. “Not while I’m around, He’s not!” and immediately proceeded to the nearest Christian book store to buy the hottest video game in red state America so they could “waste some heathens.”