Wednesday, July 12, 2006

When The Onion Kills

I am going to reprint this real blog post in its entirety because I fear if I don’t, the mouthbreathing author will remove it once the number of comments reaches 1000, which at this rate should be later this hour. Enjoy!

Murder without conscience

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Here are some quotes from a pro-abortion person, Miss Caroline Weber, who wrote an article at The Onion online magazine.

The Onion Article

When referring to the killing of her child she said:
"I am totally psyched for this abortion!"

"Those pro-life activists made it pretty clear that, unlike me, they actually think abortion is bad and to be avoided. Are they nuts? Abortion is the best!"

"It wasn't until now that I was lucky enough to be pregnant with a child I had no means to support."

"I just know it's going to be the best non-anesthetized invasive uterine surgery ever!"
Who does Miss Weber blame her abortion on? The pro-life movement.
"The funny thing is, I actually have the pro-life movement to thank for this opportunity."
It's our fault? She says:
"If my HMO wouldn't have bowed to their pressure not to cover oral contraceptives, I never would've gotten pregnant in the first place."
Sorry ma'am, if you hadn't had sex you wouldn't have gotten pregnant, it's not the HMO's fault for not supporting your promiscuity while not married.

To sum it up, Miss Weber said:
”I realize there are people who will criticize me, calling me selfish and immature because I took "the easy way out." I realize there are those who will condemn me to hell for what I'm about to do. Well, I don't care what they say: It's worth it for all the fun and laughs I'm going to have at the clinic. So listen up, world: I'm pro-abortion... and I love it! See you at my post-abortion party, everybody!"
Miss Weber, you have killed your child, which you admit is a baby/human being, intentionally. That does make you an admitted murderer. I'm not going to "condemn you to hell", I'm going to pray for your forgiveness and for the suffering which you will endure when you realize what you have done. Every baby you see from that moment on is going to wake you up to the realization that you killed your child.

Speak out against abortion. Don't just complain about it. Join the Monthly Call for Life at We call, email and/or march to let our representatives know that we will not stop until they stop the killing of innocent human beings!

United we stand - Divided they die - Pass it on

posted by Pete at 7:38 AM

Oh Pete. Sweet, sweet, stupid motherfucking Pete. It’s posts like these that makes life worth living. He’s seriously got like almost 1000 comments on this post, and then if you click on the first link up top there, he has tried to cover his tracks by writing about how he totally like gets that it’s satire, but don’t you see, abortion-lovers are totally like that, for like real! And they are slipping their propaganda into so-called “satirical” pieces. Clearly still not understanding the meaning of the word satire. Precious.


Bigg said...

I linked to this too. He's still defending himself as a crusader, as someone who 'showed them' a thing or two about satire.

What an asshat.

Matthew Smith said...

I remember the days when you used hard-hitting news outlets as your sources, but now two Onion quotes out of three? I'm going to fllow your lead, abandon the mainstream media and start referencing the Daily Show as my number one source of information.

Well, either that or the New Republic.