The Wrath of the Monarch

Bush finally figured out how to run the country with literally no oversight. The congress is vapid and cowering, the judiciary is full of Bush sycophants, the only thing left for Bush to worry about were those pesky good-for-nothing voters.

Problem solved!

Diebold is a company headed by crooks and Bush cronies. They also make the electronic voting machines, and guess what? They don't work for shit. Princeton University (a.k.a. - liberal elite training camp) conducted an independent study on the machines and found

a computer virus can be implanted on an electronic voting machine that, in turn, could result in votes flipped for opposing candidates. According to the study, a vote for George Washington could be easily converted to a vote for Benedict Arnold, and neither the voter, nor the election officials administering the election, would ever know what happened. The virus could also be written to spread from one machine to the next and the malfeasance would likely never be discovered...

Oh yeah. Or as one insider put it:

"If Diebold had set out to build a system as insecure as they possibly could, this would be it."

But don't worry, hard-working American voter. We have nothing to fear. As Diebold explains:

"[Our critics are] throwing out a 'what if' that's premised on a basis of an evil, nefarious person breaking the law," Bear told Newsweek after the March Emery County study. "For there to be a problem here," he further explained to the New York Times, "you're basically assuming a premise where you have some evil and nefarious election officials who would sneak in and introduce a piece of software … I don't believe these evil elections people exist."

Whew! For a minute there I was worried that our electoral process could easily be hijacked by a 13 year old home-schooled Jesus freak with a PC. But it turns out no one like that really exists. I sure am happy that there is no one in America who would do anything dirty, underhanded, or illegal in order to win an election at all costs.

I love the warm fuzzy feeling of believing what people tell me without having to think too much.