I Was in New York on 9/11

Does that make me qualified to be president? Rudy “Thigh Highs” Giuliani seems to think so. Were you aware that he had a spot on the 10-member Iraq Study Group panel? Did you know that he was kicked off because he skipped all the meetings? Did you know that he skipped the meetings in order to make $1,000,000+ in speaking engagements? Well, it’s true.

As Slate’s Fred Kaplan explains, it’s positively bone-chilling to imagine that a man who would be president would skip out on the one chance to add a foreign policy line-item to his threadbare (as foreign policy goes) resume, in particular, a line-item as prestigious the Iraq Study Group. And to skip it for pure profit should by itself disqualify him from eligibility for office.

…it was widely assumed at the time that Baker-Hamilton would serve as Bush's vehicle for getting out of—or somehow otherwise resolving—Iraq. And Giuliani, like all other mainstream party members, was still very much in Bush's camp. To be a part of this 10-member panel—to claim the prestige of such august company, to play the role of politico-strategic statesman, and to gain instant credibility on a topic to which he'd previously had no exposure—should have been regarded as an enviable opportunity, both on its own terms and as a boost to his political fortune.

But—given a chance to elevate his standing, serve the country, and get educated on the nation's most pressing issue—Rudy went for the money.

…

On the campaign trail he says that the terrorist threat "is something I understand better than anyone else running for president." As the mayor of New York City on Sept. 11, 2001, he may have lived more intimately with the consequences of terrorism, but this has no bearing on his inexperience or his scant insight in the realm of foreign policy. He is, in fact, that most dangerous would-be world leader: a man who doesn't seem to know how much he doesn't know.

…

Even in his own realm, Giuliani has displayed uneven judgment. After 9/11, he rallied the city with gallant eloquence and organized the recovery with impressive skill. But before the attack, he installed a high-tech counterterrorism office on the 23rd floor of the World Trade Center's Building No. 7—even though terrorists had tried to blow up the trade center back in 1993. (On 9/11, Building 7 was destroyed by the Twin Towers' rubble.)

Giuliani also failed, ahead of time, to create a liaison between the police and fire departments, or to make their radios interoperable—a failure that may have cost many firefighters their lives. He also urged President Bush to hire his crony Bernard Kerik, first to train the Iraqi security forces, then to run the U.S. Homeland Security Department. Bush went along with the first, to no good effect, and was about to OK the second until the feds unearthed Kerik's massive record of corruption.

Where is the evidence that Giuliani's best behavior as mayor, before or after 9/11, says anything about his qualifications to be president?

His shrugged blow-off of Baker-Hamilton offers a glimpse at the darker side of America's Mayor: that he's in it not for the country, but for himself.

But he protected us from dancing to music! Let’s not forget that…

Bush - #1 When It Comes to Protecting You The Saudis

Here’s a revelation that we didn’t hear too much about before the 2004 election… Or ever. Remember how that idiot Michael Moore was asking all those questions in Fahrenheit 9/11, wondering why the U.S., when all flights were grounded following the attacks, allowed a charter flight to pick up all these Saudi diplomats and businessmen and whisk them out of the country? Remember when he was asking who cleared that flight and why didn’t we get to question anyone on the flights? After all, it was right after 9/11 and we were still kind of wondering what the fuck, you know? I think we just found out why Bush didn’t feel up to answering any questions about it.

Judicial Watch, the public interest group that investigates and prosecutes government corruption, today released new documents from the Federal Bureau of Investigation (“FBI”) related to the “expeditious departure” of Saudi nationals, including members of the bin Laden family, from the United States following the 9/11 attacks. According to one of the formerly confidential documents, dated 9/21/2001,

Wait for it…

terrorist Osama bin Laden may have chartered one of the Saudi flights.

Oh yeah! That’s the Bush I know and love. That boy not only fucked up so bad as to not have seen 9/11 coming despite all the warnings. But when Osama sent a plane over to pick up his and Bush’s mutual friends, Bush was totally cool with it.

There’s incompetence, and there’s FUCKING INCOMPETENCE.

Eat My Dust, You Insensitive Fucks

Look, I'm not coming around on Bloomberg or anything. He's still the guy who invited the Republican Convention to New York City so they could grotesquely capitalize on the deaths of 3,000 New Yorkers. He's still the asshole who locked down the City during said convention and denied New Yorkers their basic civil rights. He's still the prick who stroked the CEO of ConEd while the good people of Queens went without power for a week. Etc.

And even though it's probably a political move to position himself better for the White House, I love that he told the GOP to go Cheney themselves.

Texas Justice

”Yee-haw!”
- President George W. Bush, upon hearing of the mob justice administered to a man who was sitting near someone who hurt a kid by accident.

AUSTIN, Texas -- A crowd attacked and killed a passenger in a vehicle that had struck and injured a child, police said Wednesday.

Police believe 2,000 to 3,000 people were in the area for a Juneteenth celebration when the attack occurred Tuesday night. The man who was killed had been trying to stop the group from attacking the vehicle's driver when the crowd turned on him, authorities said.

The Austin Police Department identified the victim as David Rivas Morales, 40. The child was taken to a hospital with non-life threatening injuries.

You see? It’s not just the president who’s above the law, it’s everyone from Texas.

I'll Detonate *His* Warhead Any Time

Everybody's making a big to do about the Pentagon's admission of research into a gay bomb - a bomb that would render our enemies harmless because they're too busy listening to Madonna, snorting crank and ass fucking. It's pretty funny, I admit. But I think it also provides a disturbing window into the thought process of right-wingers who fear the Gay Invasion.

If you read the article, you see that it wasn't a serious development project; they were also exploring a way to make the enemy have stinky breath, a bomb that makes you fart, and something that makes the bees sting you like crazy. So it was more like brainstorming than real research. However, those other ones, however stupid, actually have some logic behind them. I mean, it's awfully hard to blend in with the local population if you're bakin' brownies all day. But their idea to turn our enemies gay demonstrates how horribly they view homosexuality; and how low they rate gays on the scale of humanity. They thought about some of the worst things they could do to people, and gay showed up on the list. We could develop a bomb that kills people... OR we could make them gay!! *GASP*

Furthermore, they actually thought that a) you can just "turn" gay. That it's possible there is a level of turned on and horny that will make you attracted to the gender that you're not normally attracted to. And b) that once you're gay, you can't stop yourself from finding the nearest dick and shoving it in your mouth - even under the threat of death or capture by your enemy on the battlefield.

Is it any wonder that these people fear gays raising children or having the same civil rights as the rest of us? They have such a warped view of homosexuality... no... of anyone who sees the world differently from them, that they can't even try to imagine that other person's point of view. They can't envision that maybe it's possible to be gay and not want to find the nearest bath house with a glory hole. That it's possible for gays to go a day or two or a year without having sex. That homosexuals are basically the same as straight people, they just feel more comfortable being in a relationship with a person of the same sex. Be it heartwarming, loving, boring, arguing over the netflix, mopping the floor, sexless, full of mundane suburban monotony like any number of straight couples you know. They just cannot picture it. To them, the gays will always be sex-crazed, drug-fueled, disco-loving maniacs looking to shove their genitals in the face of any available human being.

The gay bomb is funny, sure. But it's fucking disgusting too.

I Grow My Own

All you hear about these days is our visionary (and handsome) leader’s success after success (locally) in his Global War on Terror. Most recently, they foiled a “plot” to blow up JFK airport. And looking back, they stopped the carnage at Fort Dix; some whackjobs in a warehouse in Florida who had a, trust me, complete and absolutely foolproof “plan” to destroy the Sears Tower; and let’s not forget the definitely not harmless masterminds in the terrorist hotbed of Albany.

Whew! I mean, with all these very serious, completely realistic, and almost totally achieved terror plots being foiled, it’s a wonder we have enough FBI and CIA agents for it all!

Thing is, maybe we don’t. For example, last night on the subway, I heard two olive skinned men discussing how they wanted to get a space rocket with a giant fishhook on the end, shoot it up to the moon with a cable attached, and crank the moon down with a big winch until it crashes into Times Square!! Fuck! I mean, they totally have an idea and a plan! Save us, President Bush! SAVE US!!!!!