I Grow My Own

All you hear about these days is our visionary (and handsome) leader’s success after success (locally) in his Global War on Terror. Most recently, they foiled a “plot” to blow up JFK airport. And looking back, they stopped the carnage at Fort Dix; some whackjobs in a warehouse in Florida who had a, trust me, complete and absolutely foolproof “plan” to destroy the Sears Tower; and let’s not forget the definitely not harmless masterminds in the terrorist hotbed of Albany.

Whew! I mean, with all these very serious, completely realistic, and almost totally achieved terror plots being foiled, it’s a wonder we have enough FBI and CIA agents for it all!

Thing is, maybe we don’t. For example, last night on the subway, I heard two olive skinned men discussing how they wanted to get a space rocket with a giant fishhook on the end, shoot it up to the moon with a cable attached, and crank the moon down with a big winch until it crashes into Times Square!! Fuck! I mean, they totally have an idea and a plan! Save us, President Bush! SAVE US!!!!!