Ha Ha!

You support a team that tacitly encourages cheating and overtly celebrates a farce of a broken record. Therefore the Fates will step in and in the one place where people actually support the chemically enhanced robot freak that is Barry Bonds in huge numbers, a Mets fan on a brief layover will go home with the record breaking baseball.

I don’t even give a shit about this record, or any other for that matter. Mostly, I guess because this overblown season-long tempest has stolen the very last drop of nostalgia and innocence from these cynical bones of mine. But also because while Bonds cheated, the pitchers and half the rest of the non-record-breaking players were cheating too. And who’s to say all those old guys weren’t cheating in some way, to say nothing of the fact that many of those records were set when we had barely even heard of the Dominican Republic and you wouldn't have let Barry Bonds watch a game at the ballpark, let alone step on the field. So, whatever, all records are bullshit. But no matter what, a Giants fan didn’t get the big ball.

Suck it, San Francisco. Now maybe that fat fuck can retire and you can get to the task of rebuilding your baseball team. And your integrity.